Friday, July 17, 2009

Danish Pornography

I remember it well
The year I lost all faith in the lord god almighty
The year I discovered
My parent’s stash
Of 1970’s Danish pornography.
It was Elsie who displaced
My image of the Virgin Mary
With her waspish thin waist
her perfect round breasts
And nipples like the nails
That fixed Jesus to the cross
But It was Jesus’ cock
Beneath his loin cloth
That kept me distracted
During matins.
Back to the matter in hand
Nipples suckled
Trouser belt unbuckled
Hand inside my pants
As I slowly wank
All through vespers
Praying for his seed
It was Jesus’ erection
That kept me on my knees
It is at this orgasmic moment
that the Holy Spirit enters me
The holy trinity
Father, son and Holy Ghost,
An orgy of icons
My arse aches for the lord god almighty.
And my balls drop
Like Moses striking the rock
My spirit springs forth and …
my spunk lies over Elsie’s pages.
And Jesus still watches from the cross above the bed
And the three popes framed on the wall
The font of holy water at the door
The sacred heart of Jesus pulses on
And thirty years of shame is soon begun

All the girl's I've ever said no to.

There was that girl with the hairy upper lip,
The one with odd shaped hips,
The girl with the third nipple.
And not to forget the one who was a bit too round around the middle.
The one with the protruding lower jaw,
The girl who when she slept she snored.
The one who wanted to meet my Mother.
The girl who’d slept with my little brother.
The one whose left leg was longer than the right,
The girl who saw only in black and white
The one who communicated entirely through song,
The girl who brought her little sister along,
The girl whose hair was falling out,
The one whose nose looked like a snout.
The one who only would turn left
The girl with the palette cleft
The one with the belly button ring
The girl who thought she could, but couldn’t sing
The one with the tattoo of a Cuban rebel
The girl who’s best friend was a pebble
The one who tied me up and bit my back
The girl who paid her way through school by selling crack

And then there was this second girl...

Monday, August 20, 2007

UKPoetrypodcast episode 11

21/08/07 - 05/09/07

Poetry from
Dorothy Fryd
David Bryant

Interview with
Frank Burton

Wednesday, 22 August 2007 – 7.30pm
The Cross Kings Pub, 126 York Way, London, N1 0AX (5 minutes walk
from King's Cross tube).
Agnes Meadows
Kayo Chingonyi – Rise Poetry Slam winner 2003-
Lucy Leagrave –

Morris Quinlan Live Experience, 12 Bar Club, Denmark Street, London WC2
Wednesday September 5th –  doors 7.30 - £6 advance
for a listen in advance –
Sheffield: Opus Unplugged, Riverside Café
Leamington Spa: Pure and Good and Right – The Fox
Bristol: Open Mic, Eldon House

Bristol: at The Hatchet, Frogmore St. Open Mic, at late time of 9.00 pm.
Derry: Masons Bar – FREE PINT for performers! Don’t tell Boltonians. You’d never get them off the stage.
Stanley: County Durham, I presume? The Lamplight. BUT CHECK first on 01207 218899
Cork: Ó Bhéal, open mic poetry and acoustic. Tigh Fili Gallery.
Harrogate: an eclectic open mic – open to al artists and film makers, musicians, didgeridoo players (it says here) but not, drummers. No drums aloud (er, allowed).
The Iron Duke, Harrogate

Oxford, Coventry, Glasgow, London, Swindon and Bracknell

Sheffield, Limerick, Hebden Bridge

Camelford, London, Oxford, Penzance and Galway

Nothing! Except two separate events in Galway! OK one is during the day time so you can get to both.

Apart from our own Olde Boar’s Head night in Middleton, Manchester, there’s loads of stuff in Birmingham, Brighton, Bristol, London, Sheffield…


Staying Alive Bloodaxe books
Stephen Fry - The Ode Less Travelled - published by Hutchinson

Thursday, August 02, 2007

Smell-a-Vision podcast episode 10 out now

Smell a vision podcast episode 10
01/07/07 - 01/08/07

Poetry masterclass with Roddy Lumsden
Saturday 18th August £25

Vintage Posion Upstairs@ the Old crown Pub 33 New Oxford Street, Tuesday 21st August

Farrago Summer Slam Thursday 16th August @ 7.30pm, RADA Foyer Bar, Malet St WC1

October 5th - Re-Launch of Smell-A-Vision as at the Poetry Cafe, 22 Betterton Street, contact or

Poetry from
Metis -Brand new Day & Rushin'

UK based Spoken-Word / Hip-Hop artist Metis, originally from California, has performed widely throughout both London and New York. His passionate and fiery delivery traverses the spectrum from race to self-identity to relationships, all unified by a philosophy which is both deeply introspective and personal.

Matt Lloyd - The Revolution

Frank Burton My Shark and Kev's Got a Satellite from COLLECTED WORDS: THE POETRY ALBUM
Interview with

Donall Dempsey part 2

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Back to stay!

I'm back - sorry it's been so long, but I was in the states, and then I was running around getting ready for Glastonbury, but now I'm back.

I've booked the poetry cafe for a re-launch night for the poetry podcast, which I've been thinking of a new name for the show too - so keep October the 5th free for a night out. More details to follow.

Smell a vision pod-cast episode 9
22/05/07 - 10/07/07

Thursday 5th July - poetry upstairs at the stoney street cafe, hosted by Ken Champion - in borough market, nearest tube London bridge

south-bank London literature festival from 29th June to 12th July - lots of poetry incl. Roger Mcgough, John Agard, John Hegley, Simon Armitage, Aoife M
annix on weds 11 July , poetry for children and the newly opened poetry library- all in or around the royal festival hall and the queen Elizabeth hall

Thursday, 28th June, 7.15pm
Inspired Word training room, 2nd floor, The Positive Place, 52 Deptford Broadway, London. SE8 4PH.
Admission: Voluntary Donation Contact: or

Thursday 5 July - Doors 7pm, first reader 8pm
The Whitechapel Gallery - 80-82 Whitechapel High Street, London E1 7QX

Salt Margins presents an evening of cross-cultural, cross-current poetics in the relaxed, hip environment of the East End's Whitechapel Gallery.

RICHARD BURNS is a truly international writer, having lived in Italy, Greece, the USA, the UK and Yugoslavia. He reads from his latest collection The Blue Butterfly (Salt), poems of revenge and forgiveness set in the Balkans.

LANE ASHFELDT performs Music For Cold Weather, fusing words, visuals and ambient sounds to tell the fantastical story of a DJ from Finland. Lane's writing is featured in The Guardian, Tell Tales and elsewhere.

Irish poet AOIFE MANNIX has lived in the UK, Ireland, Sweden and New York and brings her cross-cultural background to bear with magical poems from her latest collection The Elephant in the Corner.

Joining Aoife is HEATHER TAYLOR, Canadian poet and playwright. Heather is author of Horizon & Back, and one of London's most talented multidiscipline writers.

Produced by penned in the margins in association with Salt Publishing

Poetry from
Victoria Mosley
Neelofer Mir

Interview with
Aoife Mannix

Monday, May 14, 2007

interuption to your regular service

There will be a three week lag before the next episode of Smell-a-vision is broadcast, I'm off on holiday to the USA, hopefully to try and record some poets and poetry in Florida.

I'll be back at the start of June with poetry from Victoria Mosley and Neelofer Mir and an interview with Aoife Mannix.