Day 10 - finally got there

Helen

Caught up in your gravity well,
caught up in our very own big bang,
for those few years that you were the centre of my life,
and everything revolved around you,
when we lay on our backs at night,
watching satellites, spin past in the sky,
watching for the one, bright, light, that was the Shuttle,
in orbit for the very first time,
when we spoke of the principles of geometry,
and theories of relativity
and string theory, ties more
than my sticky, pocket bound fingers
it furls my tongue, leaves me twisted
folded upon myself,
n-space, not Euclidean space,
but cold vacuous space.
Like the space between us in our bed,
in the last days of our relationship,
when our gravities were so polarised,
we repelled each other.

We lay awake, on opposite sides of the world,
yet in the same room,
and stared up at the same night sky,
realising that the world had stopped spinning,
that the sun had stopped shining,
that we were being tossed
from our warm womb by our own inertia,
being sucked away by the cosmos’s vacuum.
Then things changed.
No longer were you the centre of my world,
No longer did I revolve around you,
but, my world, had become the centre of my world
I could do nothing but think about myself,
become me-centric, my orbit, erratic
going from never having missed a trick,
to a self obsessed lunatic.

Like continents, we slowly drifted apart.

until that day, I looked up, to see you there
in your familiar place, like you’d never been away.
What then brought you back?
what papal decree? what wishful dream?
did you see me descending
through my own circles of hell
through my saturnalian rings
was it the end of time?
or was it the remembered promise
that you would be mine?
I’m just grateful you took me back
pulled me to you, comforted by your warm skin
Whatever, I must leave it unquestioned
unobserved, un-quantified
I am too afraid to ask,
to open that box,
to determine a state of flux,
to stroke Schrodinger's cat.

I can’t trust that a love returned
can ever be the same,
as that first time, when we lay,
on new dew dappled grass,
in the morning of our lives.
While here, at even song,
I hold your hand in silence,
your thoughts, somewhere,
and mine,

somewhere else.